continued...

     That night, we were able to see Taylor, and my horrible two days suddenly became worth it. The first week was rough, to say the least. Taylor wasn't allowed to live with us yet. I was in a strange place, with nobody I knew, with practically no belongings, trying to not just get myself to the end of the day, but also my high energy one-year old. The evenings were when we could spend time with Taylor and they were what we looked forward to.
      Life continued to go on, but the hardships never ceased. Wyatt gave us a couple of scares before he came. When he did come, it was a month early and he brought  with him a whole new set of trials. Giving birth was, of course, a happy time, but it was not ideal.  It was the middle of the night and we didn't know anyone really well, so Jane came to the hospital with us. The poor little thing would cry, seeing me in so much pain. Between the excruciating contractions I would tell Taylor to take her out, she didn't need to see her mommy like that. My nurses were what got me through. It was wonderful to hold my precious baby, but again, it was bitter sweet. I had wanted to be surrounded by my family, to show them all my new baby. It makes me sad to think that my children have a long distance relationship with my family. 
     Since then, things have only gotten harder. I will not go into anymore detail than I already have. We have endured hospitalizations, health problems, moving, and well warranted emotional lows. I look at myself a year ago, and I look at myself today. I am stronger, wiser, more humble and more grateful. I never thought I would have ever had to endure the trials I have this past year, but I have finally come to a place where I can say that I am grateful for them, all of them. Life has not gotten any easier, but I am starting to realize that it is all a part of a bigger plan. I have learned that all I can do is have the faith to carry on, come what may. 
     One year ago today, I did the hardest thing I had ever had to do. I grew up.